Hello there, faithful Sock Puppet Burlesque readers. A vast array of emotions. That is what we will experience together as we watch Penelope prepare to take the burlesque stage for the very first time. It’s opening night at The Sock Monkey Strip Club — and Penelope is the headlining act!
Now, as we know, Penelope inadvertently broke the heart of Byron Flats by sleeping with his twin brother Myron.
To Penelope, her one shot at love is forever dashed. The worst part? It was her own fault. By carelessly throwing around her sock-body, Penelope has shattered her sense of self worth.
She often thinks to herself, “Who could love such a loose sock?”
But, in spite of it all, Penelope still knows she’s a sock of unmatched beauty.
Perhaps she could use her looks to achieve the only other thing she wants out of life: ginormous, obscene wealth. Just like…tons and tons of money.
This was the thought that awoke Penelope from a placidly beautiful dream of flying across an emerald field of contented puffy-fluffy sheep.
She yawned and then thought about the day ahead of her. She wanted to close her eyes again.
Penelope needed motivation.
So, she flipped through her favorite magazine of haute couture and was transfixed by a page full of lustrous Ergdorf Goodma jewels.
She concentrated hard, imagining how such costly trinkets would look on her own alluring figure.
“Stunning,” she decided. If stripping could bring her such fine things, it would be worth it. In the long run…anyway. That was her hope…anyway.
Penelope gradually became aware that it was time to transform from innocent sock-next-door to burlesque queen. After all, she couldn’t be late for her first day on the job.
Penelope dyed her hair with cheap nail polish (“I’m Really a Stripper” pink) and free-sample rouge. She completed her preparation by rolling around in all the makeup she could gather together into one shimmering sticky pile.
She rummaged through her entire wardrobe. She found a pair of skimpy undies and a particularly scandalous green fishnet stocking. As she pulled them on, she struggled to hold back tears.
Penelope steadied herself, forced a smile, and appraised herself in the mirror.
What a sultry sight for sore sock eyes.
Stay tuned! Next time on Sock Puppet Burlesque, we witness Penelope’s first dance and also find out what the Flats Twins have been doing to prepare for opening night!