Devoted Sock Puppet Burlesque readers, tonight is the night!
Byron and Myron Flats have been working nonstop for weeks building and promoting their bawdy discotheque, The Sock Monkey.
Byron even took online classes and earned a degree in Burlesque Management in order to tend to the finances of the club. He graduated with honors.
After gauging local interest, Byron took an add out in The Tuber Times offering a discount to mercenary potatoes. Hired potato guns are known for their keen interest in the burlesque scene.
Several military potatoes on leave – along with multitudes of lonely bachelor socks – showed up at the door eager to see what this new club has to offer.
Also, an underage garlic clove named Gio attempted to sneak by security with nothing but a homemade fake ID and a prayer.
But he was quickly ejected by a bouncer. This club is on the up and up … for now.
While Byron was sequestered in the manager’s office pouring over tax documents and old love letters, Myron looked on his creation with savage pride.
This was going to be a night to remember. Myron was going to make himself a very wealthy sock. Wasting no more time, he dimmed the lights and waited for the magic to begin.
A hush fell over the crowd as Penelope took the stage. No one in the room had ever seen anything so beautiful.
Penelope danced several intricate numbers, each one more sultry than the last. She made frequent wardrobe changes. She gyrated, whirled, undulated, rippled, and stripped in ways never thought possible. During one slow dance, she flung her skivvies into the crowd. A lucky patron caught them. He could now die a happy spud.
The crowd was free-handed with their shekels. Not one onlooker wanted penelope to stop dancing. In their aroused state of mesmerization, the club-goers emptied their pockets right into Penelope Boots’ g-string.
Penelope danced for three straight hours until the stroke of midnight.
Exhausted, Penelope prepped herself for the final number — the most erotic boogie of the evening!
Caught up in the lusty dance moves, and wanting only to satisfy the crowd, Penelope ignores zoning restrictions and strips down to … nothing.
The crowd was thunderstruck! So much skin! So much silky, bare neon skin!
Penelope danced right off stage, disappearing like a naked mirage.
Myron bolted down to the floor level to mingle with his patrons.
Byron spent the rest of the night counting money. He wasn’t sure how to feel. Sure, he was on his way to becoming a rich sock…but at the cost of his former love, Penelope. Could he bear it? Perhaps…
What about the star of the show?
What is Penelope up to post-opening night? Find out next time on Sock Puppet Burlesque! You, dear friends, are invited to Penelope’s after-party.