Devoted Sock Puppet Burlesque readers, tonight is the night! Byron and Myron Flats have been working nonstop for weeks building and promoting their bawdy discotheque, The Sock Monkey. Byron even took online classes and earned a degree in Burlesque Management in order to tend to the finances of the club. He graduated with honors. After gauging local interest, Byron took an add out in The Tuber Times offering a discount to mercenary potatoes. Hired potato guns are known for their keen interest in the burlesque scene. Several military potatoes on leave – along with multitudes of lonely bachelor socks – showed up at the door eager to see what this new club has to offer. Also, an underage garlic clove named Gio attempted to sneak by security with nothing but a homemade fake ID and a prayer. But he was quickly ejected by a bouncer. This club is on the up and up … for now. While Byron was sequestered in the manager’s office pouring over tax documents and old love letters, Myron looked on his creation with savage pride. This was going to be a night to remember. Myron was going to make himself a very wealthy sock. Wasting no more time, he dimmed the lights and waited for the magic to begin. A hush fell over the crowd as Penelope took the stage. No one in the room had ever seen anything so beautiful. Penelope danced several intricate numbers, each one more sultry than the last. She made […]
Welcome, readers! Time to meet another member of this Sock Puppet Burlesque consortium of misfit socks and souls. Meet DJ Wingtip. You might remember him as the dutiful caterer from the Flats Twins Masquerade Ball. He has many jobs in order to support his lust for high end malt balls. In this case: Blueberry Cheesecake Malted Milk Balls. The beluga of old school sweets. In fact, DJ Wingtip’s most lucrative occupation is his nightclub deejaying. He spins like no other sock. That’s why the Flats Twins recruited him to provide the sultry beats for The Sock Monkey Strip Club. His tracks and CDs are sought after by socks near and far. His greatest hits album is indeed the very soundtrack of our favorite ingénue Penelope Boots’ dance into damnation. It is called Sockhop Songs To Strip By and it is outlawed in all but one of the fifty United States. If you come across a copy — consider yourself lucky — but don’t tell the FCC. Can’t wait to see him spinning mad beats at The Sock Monkey? You will! Soon
Welcome back. Time for another chapter in this most sexy sock puppet adventure! By now we know that Byron Flats is deeply in love with the gorgeous Penelope Boots. We’ve also learned that Byron’s twin brother Myron has schemes to exploit Penelope’s beauty by turning her into a saucy burlesque sensation. Neither twin is aware of his brother’s intentions. Penelope, herself, is clueless! This time on Sock Puppet Burlesque, we see just what happens when the truth comes out! It was the night of the Flats Twins annual masquerade ball. The tradition began with the demise of their father, Alistair Flats. Alistair had been a huge bal masqué enthusiast and had even travelled back in time to thirteenth century Venice to celebrate the very first carnivale. It was during one of those time-travelling adventures that Alistair’s fabric accidentally melded with the very fabric of the universe — causing instant death. The annual ball was a way for the twins to honor their father’s memory. Byron decided to invite Penelope to the event. What better time to introduce her to his brother and show off her beauty? He was also tired of listening to Myron gloat about the new girl he had found to exhibit on the internet. It was his turn to show off his arm candy. Oh, if only Byron had known the truth! Penelope was thrilled at the invitation to the costume party. She spent hours deciding on her costume. What to wear, what to wear? Bryon dressed […]