Oh, it has been too long, dear sweet lovable and most fashionable readers. (Yeah, you look nice in that hoodie. It brings out your eyes AND you soul. Rock on, hoodie rocker.) I must tell you dear friends that so much has happened. Our protagonist Penelope Boots has decided to take matters into her own hands. She’s decided to take over The Sock Monkey and turn it into a sex-positive venue. No more shall “the sock men” control her daily life or bear any weight on her emotions. Nay! It’s is a sock women’s world. “Down with the patri-laundri-archy,” she exclaimeth! But Penelope has a new foe to worry about. Yes, viewers, readers, and those of you who can smell us through the magic of “scratch-n-sniff,” meet Modesty Sock. Modesty Sock believes that one should cover everything up. Modesty Sock believes that the illusion of nudity as superior to actual nudity. Modesty Sock means well and has never heard the expression “The path to hell is paved with good socktensions.” Will Modesty Sock team up with Doris Cleat? Will Modesty Sock embrace Penelope Boot’s vision for a more accepting and welcoming Sock Monkey Strip Club? Time will tell!