Simon Dresshoe Hometown: New York, New York Age: 23 Favorite Color: Brown Hopes: To be a billionaire and own his own private island with scantily clad sockettes serving him coconut and Downy infused cocktails Fears: To die penniless and insignificant Simon Dresshoe was once the most young and up-and-coming sock on Wall Street. However, recently he has possessed the knack to always be at the wrong place at the wrong time. Now, Simon Dresshoe leads a depressing life of failure and angst. Little does he know that his recent run of bad luck is the result of a gypsy curse. As Simon’s vast wealth dwindles, he becomes more and more desperate to find a new source of income…perhaps in the sock puppet burlesque industry.
Lola Highheel Hometown: Chanute, Kansas Age: 19 Favorite Color: Sunflower yellow Hopes: To be a model and spokesperson for healthy snack food brands Fears: To become a washed out sock A glorious beauty, Lola seeks to become the face of her favorite snack brands. Loving both her good looks and the crispy crunch of low sodium, all-organic munchies, Lola believes she can make a difference in the world, while showing off her alluring curves and elasticity. Will Lola’s vanity and addiction to health food lead to her fall from glory?
Sorceress Ghillies Hometown: Dubrovnik, Croatia Age: 904 Favorite Color: Black Hopes: To rid the world of evil socks who prey on the weak Fears: To become evil herself After a life of wickedness, Sorceress Ghillies suffered an ancient curse. She will endure immortality until she fulfills her destiny: to defeat a scurrilous duo. Sorceress Ghillies does not know which duo she is meant to foil, so she travels the world looking for pairs of evildoers. She’s also developed quite a case of misandry and often curses male socks just for kicks. Over the years, Ghillies developed a knack for all these mystic, and she learned in the 1970s how to read socks’ fortunes concurrently with the mastery of several key disco moves.
Esperanzo Espadrille Hometown: Arequipa, Peru Age: 24 Favorite Color: Rojo de sangre Hopes: Para hacer un bailarín exótico famoso Fears: Olvidar a bailar Originalmente de Suramérica, Esperazo quiere sentir bien a un bailarín. Él movió al fulfull de Estados Unidos para su sueño. Él es un calcetín hermoso y atlético que ama mujeres y el baile sensual. ¿Penélope bajará en amor con él? Back
Alistair Flats Hometown: Cork, Ireland Age: Unknown Favorite Color: Cerulean blue Hopes: To save the universe Fears: To be trapped in the future for all eternity A noted sock physicist and celebrated inventor, Alistair Flats was the first sock to successfully travel through time. While he died in on March 17th, 4356, Alistair still pops in and out of his nephews’ realities offering them advice and warnings concerning the future. He’s also wrote a dissertation on Sulu Muffins in his youth.
DJ Wingtip Hometown: Jacksonville, Florida Age: 28 Favorite Color: Sparkly Hopes: To one day spin at the most famous sock discothèque in Ibiza Fears: To go deaf DJ Wingtip, a simple-minded soul, seeks only to play his music in whichever venue will have him. He often gets taken advantage of, yet he never turns down a gig. He loves all genres of music and is a stellar sitar player.
Hometown: Cork, Ireland Age: 25 Favorite Color: Chartreuse Hopes: To be a famous chef Fears: To die poor Myron Flats comprises one half of the Flats Twins, the savvy entrepreneurs behind The Sock Monkey Strip Club. In his youth, Myron aspired to be a culinary star on The Footie Cooking Network. However, after one failed flambé too many, Myron lost his confidence and started down a path most unseemly.
Penelope Boots Hometown: Venice Beach, California Age: 18 Favorite Color: Hot pink Hopes: To be a famous actress Fears: To be forgotten Hailing from sunny California, Penelope Boots is a most curious left sock. While she spends a fair amount of time working on and tending to her looks, Penelope truly has no idea how attractive she is. Perhaps it is her innocence mixed with her irresistibly hot bod hat will lead to her untimely demise.
Hometown: Cork, Ireland Age: 25 Favorite Color: All shades of neon Hopes: To be an esteemed professor of Anglo-Irish Literature Fears: To go insane Byron, the other half of the Flat Twins, always pursued a more cerebral life’s passion. Between reading fin de siècle Irish novels and working on his own great Sock-American roman à clef, Byron indulged in some fairly heavy recreational narcotics and hallucinogens. It was in one of these drugged-out states of mind that Byron envisioned the business plan for The Sock Monkey.