Aloha there, web surfers, and welcome to another episode of Sock Puppet Burlesque.
Last we checked in with Penelope Boots she had decided to turn the Sock Monkey Strip Club into a sex-positive venue. However, as Penny investigated her options, she decided that she needed to hone her business acumen in order to figure out which way to go. Penelope had learned through recent trials and tribulations not to be so impulsive. So, Penelope Boots enrolled in an online MBA program from Shoestring Tech. She enthusiastically enjoyed Financial Sockcounting but also took joy in learning all about managerial skills and pie charts.
After graduating with highest honors, Penelope developed a binder full of potential business plans.
She could turn the venue into some kind of saucy restaurant where visitors embraced their socksuality while dining on fine carrot sticks paired with only the best Canadian ginger ale.
However, something seemed wrong with that idea, and Penny went back to square one. Then she saw an ad in a magazine she was flipping through at the supermarket checkout. Always one to believe in the mysteries of the universe, Penelope Boots decided to pay Sorceress Ghillies a visit. When Penelope Boots called to make her appointment, Sorceress Gillies’ assistant, a sentient stapler named Randy gave Penelope the run-down on how her appointment would go.
(Side note: Randy wasn’t always a stapler. Before being cursed by Gillies and forced to endure a decade of servitude, Randy was actually a very zealous pineapple with a penchant for conning island tourists with three-card Monte.) Randy informed Penelope that she was required to bring with her at least three candy wrappers from her last sugary snack.
Sorceress Ghillies’ most reliable method of fortune telling was to read clients’ candy wrappers. In the crinkled paper and foil, she could tell one’s place in the universe. It beat scrying into anything, and Ghillies swore off tea in the nineteenth century.
And so, in looking at Penelope Boots’ wrappers, Sorceress Ghillies saw that The Sock Monkey could not only maintain its strip-club-i-ness, but could also please everyone by welcoming male dancers and even dancers that were not-strictly-speaking socks. Penelope loved the idea! The Sock Monkey could be a place for anyone and everyone to embrace their socksuality and express themselves to a welcoming audience. Penelope thanked Sorceress Ghillies and ran home to work on her new biz plan.
Sorceress Ghillies found her meeting with Penelope Boots to be exhilarating. She’d never seen such interesting candy wrappers. She felt something in her fabric. She went to check the weather, and sure enough the winds were changing.