Welcome back. Time for another chapter in this most sexy sock puppet adventure! By now we know that Byron Flats is deeply in love with the gorgeous Penelope Boots. We’ve also learned that Byron’s twin brother Myron has schemes to exploit Penelope’s beauty by turning her into a saucy burlesque sensation. Neither twin is aware of his brother’s intentions. Penelope, herself, is clueless! This time on Sock Puppet Burlesque, we see just what happens when the truth comes out! It was the night of the Flats Twins annual masquerade ball. The tradition began with the demise of their father, Alistair Flats. Alistair had been a huge bal masqué enthusiast and had even travelled back in time to thirteenth century Venice to celebrate the very first carnivale. It was during one of those time-travelling adventures that Alistair’s fabric accidentally melded with the very fabric of the universe — causing instant death. The annual ball was a way for the twins to honor their father’s memory. Byron decided to invite Penelope to the event. What better time to introduce her to his brother and show off her beauty? He was also tired of listening to Myron gloat about the new girl he had found to exhibit on the internet. It was his turn to show off his arm candy. Oh, if only Byron had known the truth! Penelope was thrilled at the invitation to the costume party. She spent hours deciding on her costume. What to wear, what to wear? Bryon dressed […]
Our seedy saga continues with Myron Flats’ seduction of Penelope Boots. Remember how mesmerized Myron was with Penelope the very moment he saw her? He knew her beauty could make him a rich, rich sock. Myron decided to gain Penelope’s trust by wooing her. He planned to make her his girlfriend. Then he could convince her to pose nude on the internet for sure! Myron took Penelope out on a fancy first date. They went to dinner at a trendy condiment restaurant and shared a tub of mayonnaise al fresco. Myron invited Penelope back to his apartment to look at his prize olive oil collection. Penelope was no fool, but she thought that Myron was pretty cute and didn’t care how impressive Myron’s olive oil collection was or wasn’t — so she went along with it. Back at his place, Myron put a Katy Perry YouTube video on to set the mood. He almost kissed Penelope then as they moved to the catchy beat, but he thought better of it. He needed a surefire way to seduce her. No lady sock could resist his baking. “Let me make for you my special red velvet cake,” he said with a devilish grin. Penelope smiled. She did indeed love red velvet cake. Perched atop some nearby butter, Penelope watched in awe as Myron worked his kitchen magic… …And as Myron fed her forkful after forkful of delicious red velvet cake, he knew his seduction was working. Penelope politely offered to do the […]
Meet Byron and Myron Flats. They run a series of popular internet porn websites. They are also the owners/managers of The Sock Monkey strip club. However, they weren’t always in the sex trade. Myron dreamed of being a five star chef. He was a connoisseur of many olive oils. Byron was more of a bookish sort. He had a thing for Oscar Wilde. He even earned an advanced degree in Irish Literature. However, dreams of being a famous chef or esteemed professor do not pay the bills. Running a popular porn site – however – does. Perhaps it was the dashed hopes and dreams of the Flats twins which lead them into a career of smut and skin-sales. Or, perhaps, the problem stems from the fact that in their early years, they were frequently worn with sandals. Speculation and psychology aside, one thing is true: Byron and Myron Flats would eventually become the billionaire proprietors of the seediest sock puppet burlesque show this side of Budapest. Among other things, they would make Penelope Boots a star, a feat which would ultimately lead to her emotional and physical unravelling. Stay tuned to find out how the Flats twins met Penelope and how – in one fell swoop- they went from aspiring chef and academic to raunchy sock puppet pimps.
Hometown: Cork, Ireland Age: 25 Favorite Color: Chartreuse Hopes: To be a famous chef Fears: To die poor Myron Flats comprises one half of the Flats Twins, the savvy entrepreneurs behind The Sock Monkey Strip Club. In his youth, Myron aspired to be a culinary star on The Footie Cooking Network. However, after one failed flambé too many, Myron lost his confidence and started down a path most unseemly.