Sock Puppet Burlesque
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  • # 4: Meet Doris Cleat

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    How about we take a slight pause from the saucy epic of Penelope Boot’s transformation into a burlesque dancer?

    Instead, let us introduce ourselves to another influential sock in this most cheeky chronicle.

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    Meet Doris Cleat.

    Ensocklopedia Britannica lists her as the first known sock puppet burlesque dancer in recorded history.

    Believe it or not, folks, Doris used to be radiant and beautiful. In fact, her shimmery golden locks were once famous amongst burlesque aficionados.

    But, alas, a career of stripping and smutting turned her dull and tattered. Elasticity faded into a thing of the past.

    Doris experienced some rather dark times.

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    After all those years of non-stop-sexy-gyration — and after suffering a slight dryer-sheet addiction — Doris could barely look at herself in the mirror.

    This was, of course, prior to the female sock empowerment movement. Social expectations of lady socks were different in those days. Also, the street value of dryer-sheets was drastically lower back then.

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    Some nights, Doris would wash herself over and over in stain remover — but her taxing lifestyle had penetrated her exterior and tarnished her very soul.

    Then, one day, Doris decided to turn it all around; Time to make the world a better place!

    Doris happened across some homeless teenage socks who were scavenging for victuals in a trashcan.

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    Inspiration hit right on the spot! A veritable miracle!

    Doris founded the first ever food bank/youth club for mismatched socks. Immediately, her soul felt refreshed!

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    However, what Doris didn’t know is that her food bank/sock youth club is located next to the abandoned lot where the Flats twins would ultimately open The Sock Monkey strip club.

    Will Doris be tempted back to her old burlesque ways? Will she protest the opening of The Sock Monkey? What will she say when she meets young and impressionable Penelope Boots?

    Stay tuned and find out!

    *Next on Sock Puppet Burlesque, we find out what Byron has been up to this whole time…*

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    Post Categories: Doris Cleat, episodes
  • ‹ #3: Habits, Rituals, and Vices#5: The Seduction ›
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Good Old Fashioned Hand Written Code by Eric J. Schwarz