Simon Dresshoe
Hometown: New York, New York
Age: 23
Favorite Color: Brown
Hopes: To be a billionaire and own his own private island with scantily clad sockettes serving him coconut and Downy infused cocktails
Fears: To die penniless and insignificant
Simon Dresshoe was once the most young and up-and-coming sock on Wall Street. However, recently he has possessed the knack to always be at the wrong place at the wrong time. Now, Simon Dresshoe leads a depressing life of failure and angst. Little does he know that his recent run of bad luck is the result of a gypsy curse. As Simon’s vast wealth dwindles, he becomes more and more desperate to find a new source of income…perhaps in the sock puppet burlesque industry.