A: Oh, hello there! I’m stuck in the Internet! How are you? You look well! Have you been eating well and exercising? No? Well, me neither. Anyway, want to hear a story? SURE YOU DO! You look just like the kind of person who loves stories! Well, you’re in the right place, e-traveler! Here we go! Sock Puppet Burlesque originated on Blogger but then grew into a phenomenon that couldn’t be contained on a simple microblogging site. In fact, a vast number of socks clogged the Internet tubes into and out of Blogger. The Blogger gnomes staged a riot and demanded change via a menacing musical ditty composed in iambic pentameter! It scared us. We now sleep under four blankets and a pile of ornery poodles at night.

A: That’s not a question, but whatever, do I look like Alex Trebek? You see, even the most commonplace, pedestrian items lead secret lives. While you’re away at school, or work, or at an old-fashioned strip club (oh my, are you naughty!), some of your socks get their rocks off by participating in a lint-heavy online burlesque show. You don’t even wanna know what your misplaced, forgotten Taco Bell sporks (the ones that fell out of the “Everything Drawer” and are now lodged in the back of your cabinet) do while you’re looking the other way…

A: I’ll tell you how I didn’t come up with it. I didn’t come up with it while eating a burrito or while breeding designer chinchillas.

A: You can expect a plethora of whimsy! We will be releasing a new chapter in the sock saga every Monday-ish. We will also have contests with prizes, some of which might be made of fine chocolate!

A: 42

Submit them to us via the various means o’ communication outlined on our Contact page and we will give them some thought and maybe even answer them. If you happen to be a musically-inclined, crazed gnome, we will probably just send you away not empty handed — but with a burrito and a hypoallergenic chinchilla named Phideaux.